કીર્તન મુક્તાવલી
History
(1) Sajanī Shrījī mujne sāmbharyā re
In the Samvat year 1886, after Shriji Maharaj reverted to Akshardham, everyone drowned in an ocean of sorrow. Just as Brahmanand Swami could not bear Maharaj’s separation, Premanand Swami also found it difficult to live without Maharaj, especially since Premanand Swami was an orphan that Maharaj had taken in and given the love of a mother and a father to. Even while Maharaj was present, Premanand Swami could not bear leaving Maharaj, so now his grief only increased and each day, his heart cried out in agony - just as a calf cannot be separated from the cow or a fish struggles outside of water and a child becomes restless without its mother. Who would find pleasure in living life after the departure of Shriji Maharaj? Premanand Swami, the one who loved composing music, stopped playing the sarangi instrument, as even singing and playing instruments became devoid of pleasure.
Before Satsang could recover from the departure of Shriji Maharaj, the mother of the Satsang - Sadguru Muktanand Swami - also departed to Akshardham as well. Premanand Swami now really felt that he had lost both his mother and father. His pen could not describe the pain of the separation. Poet Dalpatram witnessed this true incident with his eyes and has narrated this story.
As time passed, after the celebration of Hari Jayanti, everyone had gathered in Vartal. Acharya Shri Raghuvirji Maharaj requested Premanand Swami to bring his sarangi to the festival. This was the first festival to be celebrated after Maharaj had left for Akshardham. More than twenty thousand people had come to the event in Vartal. Acharya Shri Raghuvirji Maharaj sat Premanand Swami on a ten-foot high bench and asked him to sing kirtans. Swami replied, “After Maharaj left for the Akshardham, I have stopped singing and playing the instrument. I cannot sing anymore. The feeling is just not there.”
Acharya Maharaj consoled him, “But Swami, your singing or playing instruments is not meant for pleasure of the senses. Your kirtans will bring memories and make the existence of Maharaj alive in the hearts of all again. For that reason, today I ask you to pick up your sarangi and sing kirtans to take out all the grief building up within the devotees. Make our hearts lighter.”
Having said this, Acharya Maharaj picked up the sarangi and put it in Swami’s hands. Swami was now compelled to sing. He started to tune his sarangi, ready to sing and bring back the memories of Maharaj. He remembered the way Shri Hari used to sit, sleep, wake up, hold sabhās, take his mare Manki for a ride, the festivals and places he went to, etc. In a low voice with long tune notes Swami started to sing out the sorrow in his heart. As the kirtan began, the listeners, especially new devotees, wondered who this Swami was? The listeners’ hearts poured with grief. There was happiness as one continued listening to it. One can appreciate the sense of happiness that Swami brought into the moment. Tears of happiness started rolling down all the listeners’ cheeks as they relived their memories when they were with Maharaj. When Swami meditated upon Shriji Maharaj, he again remembered that Maharaj had left them. At that moment, Swami’s state began to get worse compared to the rest. The image of the Lord settled in every corner of his body. However, Swami deviated his mind and consoled himself for the betterment of all by continuing his duty set by the Acharya and meditated upon the Lord.
